No Judgement

 

I think we'd all agree that no one likes to feel judged. Feeling judged by family, friends, colleagues, or teachers is never pleasant, and in many cases will be harmful to one's self-esteem. Self-judgement is probably the most common kind of judgement many people experience.

A teacher is supposed to give you constructive feedback without being judgemental. If your piano teacher is making pronoucements such as "you're just not talented enough" or "you played that piece badly" or "you had too many mistakes," not only is it hurtful, but it certainly does nothing to help you solve the problems you are having.

I find that students have experienced this judgement so often from their previous teachers that they have come to expect it. Therefore, they can become very anxious at the lessons, wanting to please their teacher, play their very best and show them how well they have done and how much they have practiced during the week. Of course, if they don't play their best at the lesson then they feel they have let their teacher -- and themselves -- down. And they may be very judgemental towards themselves about this.

I try to make it clear to my students that I am never judging them. Whether you have a lot of "wrong notes" or even fall apart when playing, I am only interested in the causes of those problems and how we can address them. That is why they come to me for lessons. (Some teachers just seem to have little or no tolerance for "wrong notes" and even cringe when they hear them. I have a high tolerance for them because I know they are part of the learning process.)

Even though I've explained this to my students, and they understand it theoretically, it's habit -- and maybe human nature -- to still want to "perform" for me at the lesson and show me their best.  Maybe you think this is a good idea; why not try to do your best? One reason is that it usually doesn't work anyway. If you've done one way of practicing at home -- let's say looking at your hands when reading, as an example -- but then at the lesson you don't look at them to show me you're doing it the "right way," you'll have so much trouble you will play worse! It's just logical that if you do one thing at home for six days and then something different on the seventh day at your lesson, it will feel unfamiliar and cause you problems. The second reason is that at the lesson I want to see how things really are as far as your playing and your progress goes. Even if you think you are somehow hiding the mistakes you usually make, I can always tell what is really going on.

I hope my students can make the shift in their way of thinking to view the lesson as "supervised practice." The "practicing" they do at the lesson is the best quality practice, because they have me observing everything they are doing. I'm not only working on their technique, their expression, their understanding of the music, their ear development, but I'm working on their practice habits. Your practice habits are one of the biggest things -- maybe the biggest -- which will determine your rate of progress. They may also determine how much you enjoy your practicing, or not.

I urge you to read my earlier post titled Lessons vs. Practicing (October 2020) for a more in-depth discussion of why lessons should not be viewed as a performance, and how piano lessons need to follow an entirely different model than many of the classes or other instruction you've had in school.

If you can be relaxed at the lesson, with no fear of being judged, you will get better results.